Saturday, September 01, 2007

Actually... In Fact...

Sometimes I ask myself, why I can't be as close to you all as you all did among self?
Myself will answer: Maybe they don't really want to be close to you.

Sometimes I will think: Am I that hard to get along with, or when I'm not around, people around me will gain more laughters and fun?
Myself will just make a place to fit in the hole: You are who you are and they may not need you to be around to move on.

Sometimes i will have myself to think again twice, should I really be initiated enough to make them PRETENDING to be close to me? Should I beg for their caring and concern on me?
Myself will just ask me: Don't you have enough from your family? Or don't you love yourself anymore? If you do, why should you really care what they did to you?

But, I thought they were my best friends?
Yes, but not when you are in desperate situation.
But, I thought i can really share things with them?
Yes, but not all tings that can be shared. Sometimes you need to keep some for yourself.
But, I thought they are the place that I should turn to whenever whatever?
Yes, but you FOOL! You can't be always depending on them! You need to be INDEPENDENCE!

But.. But..
No more but. Actually why do you care so much on what they think?
Or what they did without you?
Or somehow they really ignore you purposely?

What a lonely and sad night.

They always do something nice without you.

Your heart couldn't hurt much for their doings and sayings.

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