Friday, September 28, 2007

Others

Suffer from the waiting for 3 papers in 2 days time!
That feels so much hatred for the waiting of such unorganized schedule by those who called themselves the higher educator. I wonder how they get their beef eater with such ORGANIZE planning.

But anyhow, feel lazy to look at all the books and stuff. Maybe will do it in the midnight I think.
That earns me some time surfing through some blogs, reading some articles which is really weird and funny. They seems like enjoying their life much, but I'm the only one who will be spending time to pitty myself over this ugly place. Using my time on some stupid stuff (like I will still remember what the heck is Lutjanidae when I go out to work, not like I will be seeing Elasmobranchii for the rest of my life), spending my money simply (which I can see I will be paying back very hard for the loan T_T), totally could not imagine how my life will be in the future.

Actually, when looking at others happiness, when comparing their happiness to mine, it is like the heaven and earth differenced. I do not get along well with the people around me, not even finding a friend who can always be the listener. I miss my home. Why a big guy like such so easily to get homesick?! There will be no reason for a person to be homesick right? After experiencing all the conflicts, aware myself of all the contradictions, suddenly I feel what a loser I am.

In uni here, being a friend to a person doesn't mean you are truly a friend to them. This is so solid real. They may want to be friend with you because of some benefits that they may gain from you. They are like the monster who will leech your life and all your brain juices and make them as the nutrient for them to grow much better. Horrible right? But this is real. Once they found out that you are worthless to them they will just dump you as dumping a rubbish, despite what you did for them. Or after your brain juice and all the blood of yours went dry, it is the time you will be extincted, when you will be eliminated and expelled.

Horrible right?

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